Mixtape Muse: MUSINGS: The Day At the Drive-In Changed My Life

It was 2000, I was in the kitchen, and it was mid-afternoon. I was standing, next to the refrigerator with the small boombox on top. The radio was on and a song I had never heard before began playing. I couldn't move. For the three minutes and 45 seconds, I stood still, caught by this unfamiliar sound emanating from the speakers above my head. From my youth in Virginia to my early teens in Maryland, I was raised on rock 'n' roll, but this was a sort of rock 'n' roll I had never heard before; it was new, it was exciting, but most of all, it was life-changing.

The DJ informed the listeners that it was a song called "One Armed Scissor" by At the Drive-In from their new album Relationship of Command. It was a new song in rotation on the station. It wasn't until a few years later that my friend gave me a copy of Relationship of Command that I really started to discover the power of At the Drive-In. Before I placed the CD in my player, I was only familiar with "One Armed Scissor," and had really no idea what to expect. As the band's drummer Tony Hajjar began his floor tom assault in "Arcarsenal," I felt something change inside of me. It sounds somewhat trite to say, but that's really the simplest way to describe how I felt. Never before in my life had I felt music move me from the inside out -- I almost felt compelled to thrash around, and I believe I did so with my trusty air guitar. The music was primal, but also incredibly sharp, purposeful, and revolutionary. It had this power over me in much the same way love pushes us to kiss another or let out those three significant words from our lips.

That moment in my kitchen back in 2000 was life-defining for me, and, ultimately, made me who I am today. I know, I'll be the first to admit that's a heavy claim to make, but it's the absolute truth. Music is the reason I wake up in the morning; music is what keeps me alive and motivated to keep living this life I lead. It was that exposure to "One Armed Scissor" that marked my first real experience, my first real connection, to music. Hearing that song for the first time is one of the most significant moments of my life, it solidified my love of and interest in music. Is it possible that I could have made this monumental connection and had this monumental life experience with some other band or piece of music? Maybe, but it's impossible to say for sure.

As the years passed, I came to value At the Drive-In more and more, researching their history and listening to everything that preceded Relationship of Command. Life is going to hand you bad times just as much as it's going to hand you good times. At the Drive-In played plenty of shows in rooms that contained no one or just a handful of people, and yet, they always played like it was their biggest, or last, show. No matter what the situation, they played with as much energy as they could muster -- and then some -- because they not only loved what they had created, they believed in what they were doing. At the height of their popularity, I remember either Jim (Ward, guitar/vocals) or Cedric (Bixler-Zavala, vocals/effects) saying that if their hearts weren't in it tomorrow, they would end the band. And they really believed in that sentiment -- they disbanded at the height of their popularity.

I took a lot away from this sort of mentality, acting according to my loves as I let passion be my guide. Not only that, At the Drive-In helped me to learn that each moment matters, that it's important to make the most of the time you have. I could talk all day about what this band means to me, or debate the term "emo" or how significant they were to the musical landscape throughout the 2000s into the present day. The point here is that I not only found my favorite album of all-time through At the Drive-In (it's Relationship of Command), I also learned some valuable life lessons along the way. And if a band can give you music that rattles your soul and make an impact on your character in a positive way, they must be something truly special.

I still can't believe I interviewed and had a beer with Jim Ward (Part 1, Part 2). Full disclosure: Dude profoundly shaped my songwriting, which, in turn, affected me as a person.

Welcome back, At the Drive-In.